Jul 26, 2008

Condi's Outbox

Private

From Condi

To The Shrub


Day One In New Zealand

Dear Shrubby

The things I do for your administration!!

Just back to my room after another reception and dinner and having to be polite and watching a game that I don't fully understand. These people are all very nice but they are trying too hard to please!

And I thought New Zealand was part of the OECD not a third world country. You drive in from the airport to the major city on a tiny back road, half the people in the biggest city are without power, and they all seem fixated on a game of rugby. Everyone was looking at the their watches as the end of dinner approached and the room was empty by just after 10pm. Many people we staying behind at the hotel to watch this game against Australia because they would not have power at home. (I have just been warned by my staff that New Zealand lost the game. This will apparently send the nation into shock tomorrow. I have been told not to raise the subject or mention Australia in my talks tomorrow).

That dreadful little man Winston Peters is at my shoulder every second. He is so pompous. Back home he would be lucky to make a city council. You can imagine him selling second hand cars or being an ambulance chasing lawyer. The newspapers are full of stories about various scandals that he is involved in. Maybe this will be the last time I have to see him. It seems sad that the political system here is so bad that the Prime Minister can't sack this guy.

These New Zealanders are the easiest people I have had to deal with. They say yes to everything I ask and don't seem the slightest bit upset that we keep saying not yet to their FTA request. They are so desperate for recognition. There is no way they are going to pull their people out of Afghanistan. By the way tell Mrs Shrub that I see what she means about that warrior dance she had to survive in Afghanisan. They did one at the start of the rugby tonight. Mrs S. did well not to turn and run!!

I meet the PM Helen Clark and the likely PM to be Key tomorrow. One of the politicians called him a rich prick at dinner tonight. He used to trade currency for Merrill Lynch and clearly left at the right time!

I can't wait to get back to civilisation. Look forward to seeing you soon. Have you heard anything more about the Football Commissionership?

Love

Condi